Life & Laughs

Hilarious Hospital Shenanigans

I got hurt playing Gaelic football and needed to go for surgery to repair my anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). I was in hospital for 5 days which is a heck of a long time and so much is constantly happening, literally all the time. I was just glad it was during the world cup games so I could watch most of them from my hospital bed, yes I am a football pro now!!

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Yes, this is hospital food, Switzerland never ceases to amaze me haha! Apart from eating good food, I had some funny experiences that made me chuckle. I want to share them with you.

I see your everything

Finally I arrived at the hospital and got checked in. Now because I checked myself in, meaning I walked into hospital with my own 4 legs (2 crutches) I thought I would be treated like the not too sick patients and allowed to keep my own clothes on but apparently getting surgery done while in your own clothes is frowned upon 🙂 I could barely believe my eyes when the nurse handed me the unisex “I see your everything dress”. Yes, I wore it and in my shame I made sure the nurses only had my front view, with my back to the window. Its a good thing I was on the 3rd floor considering that the dress style is “open back”.

Sorry, we operated on the wrong leg

No, this didn’t happen to me but imagine my face when the surgeon came in and asked which leg he needed to operate on. It’s procedure, he says he obviously knew which leg it was, I remain skeptical. He put a big black cross on my right leg so he wouldn’t forget, much to my relief. I was pleased that I had shaved my legs in preparation for the surgery, the last thing you want is people judging your unshaved leg when you are unconscious haha!

You have such nice nerves

We move onto the next stage where they start to put me under anaesthesia and they kept asking my name. I had second thoughts to say another name just to have a bit of fun but I would have been the only one to enjoy the joke so I decided against it. They started to scan my leg to locate a nerve or something for a catheter, pain management. It was all honky dory until the doctor stopped to compliment me on my amazing nerves…I am not sure what my nerves look like but I was thankful that at least they are pretty.

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Lost in translation

I finally wake up from anaesthesia 7hours later, all has gone well with no complications and I am so happy and relieved, only thing was a huge cast on my leg. I had enough meds to relieve the pain which was legit awesome. A nurse came by to check on my leg and since the cast was detachable, he removed it for a quick check but before he did, he said to me; do not be surprised, your leg is fully white. I looked at him all shocked of course!!! Until this day I am not sure if he meant that it was white because of the bandage or if he was making a joke that my leg had been amputated and replaced with a white one! I am cool with white people but I prefer both my legs to be black! That mystery will forever be lost in translation.

The next time your favourite song comes on and your legs are in good condition, then I hope you dance! I look forward to being able to again.

fungaimettler

It is almost impossible to put into words the amount of fulfillment that I find from writing, be it about my Swiss experiences, my homeland, travels or whatever, hence my blog. Humour, good food, music and dancing complete me. Among my passions, you will also find Gaelic football, Swiss cheese, English breakfasts and African sunsets.

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